Concerned Questions

My printer is not working for some unexplicable reason, and this is one of the reasons I've been feeling down, of late. Thinking about why I feel down and how negative feelings are borne out of daily interactions and life situations compelled me to come to this virtual space. In addition, how an alternative situation could have led to different motivations and state-of-mind is also a point of concern.

Even though us humans tend to think in pigeon-holes and non-analytically, though categorically, life do not happen in that format. I think it is essential to recognize this plain fact, as awareness and sensitization often enable touching base with the other, if not leaving our pet projects.

Pet projects could be anything.... but the ones that are dependent on other people, usually range from: blowing in to hollow self-egos through attempts to inflate the ego of the person one-doesn't-like/person-one-can't-be-but-wants-to-be, hurling supposedly subtle satirical comments to that person in order to prove hierarchical difference of the one's self, and preaching for own ideals in order to strengthen one's own ground by converting some more followers to own camps. When these pet projects fail, people get angry. They get reticent. They get abusive.

If we do not meet these people, we would probably be less hurt, but then....hey.... we would also probably be less entertained, especially when entertainment these days comprise of very little comedy. It is wise to use as much resources as we could probably gather to do as many things are possible.

And, this gathering of resources could form an alternative to how we are taught to see things, as they are.

For example, when I choose to encroach the alternative--which requires some genuine effort and time--I am the one who's rewarded. It does take some attempt not to get angry ...when people who define films as "art films" and "commercial films", and think of Fellini as some obscure person if not a Bengali, comment on my habitus, and think that comment to be sublime and profound; it does take attempt on my part to stabilize and not feel negative when people get angry and abusive just because I swear some slang words (not at them but at the situation); it takes some attempt to continue interacting with people on civil and friendly terms even when I know they expect a very gendered role out of me.

It takes a lot of work to be polite to people. A lot. Much more than tolerating Himesh Reshamiyya or news about Anna Nicole Smith's baby's paternity.

But that attempt is well rewarded when I try to find the alternative meanings, at the end of which, I can't stop laughing and thank them for the opportunity to make me laugh.

Taking a step back, I see these people trying to hold on to their ideas and ideals which they were passed down, and grew up with; in that, they are no different. We all try to hold on to our own; except that some of us ensure the existence of our boundaries by being aggressive and intruding into other people's spaces and boundaries while some of us do not feel the need to do so.

Stepping on to other's boundaries is also conceptualized in emancipatory terms. Our beloved Tagore used to say: Strike and save those who are half-dead ("aadmorader gha mere tui bnacha") I often do think...was it designed as stepping on to other's boundaries with the responsibility resting on our shoulders to successfully complete the presumed project of saving and emancipating them?
I guess the question was more of sensitizing the other, the half-dead and the half/or fully constrained of the alternative possibilities. Knowledge, for them, would serve as strength.

But this attempt has its own costs. To do so, entails a lot of reactions bending on the negative side, which are reciprocated through vindictive attitudes and actions. It is not a good thing to assume the half-dead to be half-dead. Don't ever, dear reader, include it in your pet project....so as to hold on to your own.

If you want to maintain your boundary, flash your smile.

It's no surprise that Gandhigiri sells. I'm not selling it any further but reminding you of another possibility that flashing your smile might entail. The inherent reward, of course, comes from not having to interact with intruders to your boundary once you smile at them and laugh at them. Yes, they could get more antagonistic if given indifference. Or they could stop. Either way, you will gain....because when you are able to go beyond anger and actually laugh on them, they would hold on to their erstwhile spaces and follow you and think about you. What could be more ego boosting than that?....learning that people you don't like and don't give a damn to, doesn't stop them from thinking about you as they keep on being abusive, satirical or aggressive. That, is an upside to being in negative interactions.

But when pushed to the corner of your own space, flash your smile, and your weapon. Oftentimes, that works. This is a tried and tested thing......so you can try it sometime!

I have always antagonized people just by being by own self. The one thing that I still cannot fathom is (even after all these): If I don't step into their boundaries, what gives them the stimulation, the motivation, the reason (and of course, the right) to step into mine? What parts of me, challenge them to do so?

I promise I will say more about the answers to the above questions when I find them. If you have any idea of the answers, please let me know. You will be duly rewarded.