F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

My last haircut was 4 months back. Since then, my hair has grown. I like long hair for myself, and like other sane females, also feel I should trim it periodically. There is a very good salon within 15 minutes of walk....and there's no reason that I shouldn't walk there.

But,......like avoiding being social by attending other social gatherings I thought I should avoid another wo/mankind-inhabited place. The world is a friendly place, wanting to become friends with you through asking friendly questions with friendly smiles and expecting friendly temperament in return. Now....now.....I wasn't and am not detesting F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I love the show. I love my friends. I do....even though I might behave the otherwise and not say it.

But I'm terrorized of friendly questions and friendly advice, coming from.....all sorts of people you least expect to be friends with; for example,

a) Hairstylers;
b) Bartenders;
c) Remotely known professors encountered in occasions of picking up free food from uninteresting seminars;
d) Smiling and busy Dada-s (of Dadu's age) encountered in Pujo-s, and such other occasions of Bengali chestbeatings.
e) Random guests of guest of your roomie;
f) Indian salesgirls working in grocery stores;
g) Taxi drivers driving you to airport;
h) Movers helping you to move you to yet another house;

From different background and found in vastly different situations and places, these people pose one common threat to me: being friendly.

Before you assume how mean I am, let me tell you how and why I derive my feelings of fear. terror. avoidance.

Questions start generally in this order.

1) Hi! How is it going?

Pretty good! How's it for you?

2) I'm good! So you're doing *general assumption* (like being an undergrad, or being single and looking or being married with your husband tending and caring for you, or being very happy without any reason)

*Response* (Trying desperately to close all deliberations with a one liner; which doesn't work, as you'll see)

3) Why?

*Mention reason, as succinctly possible in a civil and formal relationship*

4) But....I know this.....and you should do that.

I will.

Then,

5) That is pretty strange. Why don't you have kids?

*a#@& % !!* Ummm......*feebly* because I don't want to....?? I'm not really into a situation.

6) No....I don't think you realize this.....blah blah blah.....and when I was your age..../when I will be your age....blah blah blah.....

Uh...yeah....probably.....yeah.....okay.....hmmm........

And then, when I'm finally with myself again, I crave for some friendly talk. Some friendly interaction. You know.....those.... like real.