The first thought when she was checking the sharpness of the knife against her upturned wrist was....how would the police know which number to call when they first find the body?
Should she make a note? Leave that on the table?
But it was very, very tough to decide on the first one to inform. Okay....she thought...that should be a North American phone number...let's cut down their cost.
And then, remotely and suddenly she thought how her roomie would react?
That moment changed the decision. She laughed. She thought, ah well....she would just shout and shout and have the fright of her life! What a lesson to teach!! And all these days she was thinking how to retort irritation and arrogance....what better way could this be.
Immediately after however....she understood it's nothing but self pity. And that she needs to get a new knife. She had an Indian blade but then ....that got lost in innumerable moving of houses she had to make over here.
And it could have made the whole things so dramatic. Narcissism warns, you see....against going overboard. Why try to connect with pieces of mind and persons left in Kolkata? By using a blade?? If life was so pathetic....would death have to match that pathetic pattern? nah...
Today, she had lots of groceries in her hand. She got on the bus.
The driver said "Thank You! You've got me supper!"
Unexpectedly to herself, she said "Thank You!!" And chuckled.
When getting off....the driver said again "Would you do me a favour? Could you keep my groceries in your fridge for this week?"
Why are people nice? She thought? She said, "Yes, next time! That's a raincheque!"
When the "why-s"? of her life came running to her again....she told them...I don't know. She would never know. As she would never know why certain things are nice, but are seldom asked as why they are.
Like we don't ask why the sun comes out....we just notice.
Good Morning, by the way!
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