Ethnography: Married International Students

Disclaimer: International Students in my blog implies only Indian Students studying in North America.

Back to making claims--about married International students--and fulfilling my earlier made promise of coming up with a treatise on International Students, this post would also include Committed International Students. (treatise excludes committed couples in a long distance relationship).

Category 1: Married/Committed couple, both being students (without kids)

Dreams: Dollars, the good life, smashit careers.

Reality: Mostly achieves and lives with the dream. If you are on an inherent and Buddhian quest to find the happy man, look closer at these people. These people work hard and party harder (in weekends, with other married/committed couples.) Their friends mostly consist of happy people, with some single souls thrown in for variation, interesting conversation and to fulfill the maternal instinct/protective instinct (of these couples). These student couples eat well, look well, make great pics, and publish well too. They go home once in 2 or 3 years, in perfect timing to get married/attend other weddings of friends/family, buy jewellery and clothes, fulfill familial duties of being the time-being son/daughter-in-law, comes back and talks about that "vacation" for the next 2-3 weeks.

These couples generally love to experiment with food, dress and beverages. Both the male and female generally drink alcohol and do not think of it as sinful. They consume beef and pork and they do swear, too. Mostly English swear words, though.

Category 2: Married/Committed Couple, with one of them being the Grad Student.

The student in these couples is mostly male. Haven't ever seen the opposite--that is, the female being the student and the male being the homemaker.

Dreams: Dollars, more dollars, the good life, smashit career, recipes, more recipes, a perfect house (with a worship room), kids

Reality: Mostly achieves the good life, recipe, one career and somewhat the dollar part. The incomplete puzzle piece of the happy picture is composed of some sighs regarding more recipes, sometimes slight defraction from achieving the perfect career, and the absence of kids and sometimes, a career for the wife.

These guys work in the weekdays and work less in the weekends. Weekends are one long never ending party, to be spent in inviting similar couples, getting invited to dinner invitations from similar couples, and in thinking about how to make life even more beautiful, enjoyable, ...apart from grocery shopping and preparing hard-to-harder Indian dishes that Moms back home could only dream of making. These couples love food, love people who love food, and love to find ingredients and replaceable ingredients in a phoren country that can make awesome food. Yes, the females in these kind of relationships form the inspiration of the "boudi-s" in Sunil Ganguly's novels/stories, as well as Shankar's, Shirshendu's and other author's writings.

If you want to be well-fed, you must and must visit these households.

However, these couples generally do not consume Beef. Pork ....is iffy....you would get mixed results if you do a survey...but that's not something preferred. These couples generally do not swear. If the guy used to, once upon a time, he wouldn't, once he starts forming the couple picture.

Generally the male drinks, the female doesn't. Generally the male appreciates the food, the female makes it. Generally, these guys are overweight. They make happy pics, but I can't gurantee that you would feel happy after seeing those pics.

These couples go home once in 3-4 years. Shops and does the usual there. And feels more resolute in their decision to stay in their phoren abode. The dust, the pollution, the heat, the sound, and the people back home appear too much to take, for them.

In addition, careers pay more, are easier to find, and more stimulating here. Therefore, almost all married/committed couples think, ...and do, stay back (back= North America. The US. Canada).

Common stuff: Love for food, love for dollars, Love for North America, love, love and love in general...towards each other, and their friends consisting mostly of other married/committed couples.

Also, married/committed couples are involved in less online activity. They are involved rather, in more socializing. Almost no porn is enjoyed by the male. The couples use very less of webcams but makes very huge use of digicams. They possess very low to low knowledge of politics, music, TV and social scene of India (or what used to be home).

So what's the bottomline of reading this long and boring post?

Get a partner/married, before coming for Grad Studies. You will end up happier. You will never, ever, regret it.