Ethnography of Single, International Grad Students

This post will be cliched, as it will deal with the cliched life of what are known as International Graduate Student in North America (meaning Canada and America). I do not know much about life in UK for my sympathetic counterparts, but I've a feeling that things are not too different there, as far as quality is concerned. Probably there would be a difference in degree.

How would I name the life here? Where do I really start?? What about year? So here I go:

First Year Int'l Grad Student: "chokhhey tahar notun asha, mukhe notun bhasha" (that's bengali for the uninitiated...)

Dreams: (MALE) Student thinks of partying in sprawled new apartments/bars, meeting and doing subsequent activities with white chicks, owning laptop after a month, a car after three months, meeting sympathetic and patriotic taxi drivers (like shown in Hindi movies) and having li'l chit-chats, cracking exams and courses like coconuts,....and publishing after a year.

(FEMALE) Student thinks of partying in the trendiest tank tops in sprawled new apartments/bars, meeting white and desi dudes, owning laptop after a month, a car after three months, seeing snow and dancing on them in bollywood fashion, getting beautiful and attractive and beat the white chicks in class, cracking exams like kitkats, .......and continue doing so for the rest of the year.

COMMON stuff: Material gains, and dreaming of living rest of the life here.

Reality: (MALE): Student lives in a four or five bedroom house with three other people/lives in two bedroom apartments with two or three other male students. If he's lucky, he would get an entire bedroom to his own self. He does partying.....in dreams. In reality, he does not have the bucks. Sometimes he does, but only gets the boring desi dudes to accompany him. White chicks don't look at him. Student goes and buys some good aftershaves, invests some money in jackets, and caps. No improvement, still.
Exasperated, Student learns about new forms of entertainment--downloading stuff. Starts downloading. Porn and non-porn movies. Watches them in weekend after cooking daal and tarka and chicken curry. Washroom remains uncleaned. Student dreams of home and prepares inward dialogues with friends and family once he goes home (which he thinks will be after a year).

Courses suck. Student learns how to use sci-finder and google scholar. Student befriends some white dudes and keeps away from the black and chinese people. White dudes say "Hi" and "Hellos" sometimes. Student feels elated. Student calls up home and tell Maa "I've made some friends--Mike, Brian and Steve". Maa back home tells neighbours.

Laptops arrive after 3 months. Cars? No sight till now. Like white chicks, they prove to be a myth too. Student is able to save some money though, and send some back home. Student sighs, goes to sleep after watching porn.

(FEMALE) Student lives with four other desi and multi-national gals. Student has frequent fights sometimes, over who would clean the washroom and kitchen. However, sometimes life is good when all the chicks share boyfriend blues and dessert. Student gets some photos taken and sends them back home.
Student takes some pics of "FALL COLOURS" and posts them on personal websites. Sends some home. Student wears tank tops and mini-skirts and really doesn't feel bad. Feels good, actually. Takes pics with Becky. Sends them back home. Student learns American/Canadian cooking. Exchanges recipes with other fellow students in and across continent. Student learns about how to apply make-up. Student works hard in weekdays, writes papers and impresses supervisor. Partys in the weekend. Gets elated on seeing the first snow....but seems like no one shares excitement. Tries dancing, slips and falls. Swears not to do it again.
Learns and realizes it's not sinful to drink alcohol. Drinks wine. Learns about wine.

No white dudes, still. Desi ones suck.

Second Year Int'l Grad Student:

Dreams: No Dreams except of going home.

Reality:
(MALE) Student knows where coke costs less and which grocery store/liquor store sells beer @ 50 cents less. Student gets worldly wise. Student is able to adopt the american accent. White chicks can finally understand him. No other sign of liking, however. Student now is wise enough to try for desi chicks instead. Student spends more time on Facebook, Yahoo chats and Orkut. Finds similar minded Desi chicks. Student is able to hook up some, talks to them over phone. Sends them flowers in birthdays. Turns out Desi chicks like some other guy. Student returns back to square one.
One thing that Student learns is Patience. Student patiently tries and keeps on trying his tricks, on chicks and cooking. Cooking has got better. Washrooms have got better too. They get cleaned once a month, instead of once in three months.
Student works hard in weekdays. Stays in Lab since 10 pm mostly. Comes back and does some online stuff.....they are the only source of diversion now. Student owns a webcam and uses it 100%. Student learns about how to watch cricket matches free from pirated sites.
Come Puja and Diwali, student visits local desi junta. Chicks that look good are all married. Sees some chalega types. Exchanges phone numbers and asks chalega chicks to call them whenever they need a ride....or when they are grocery shopping.
Yes, student has a car now. For which, student has to pay high insurance.

Student learns how to fool the supervisor. If the supervisor is desi however, God bless him. Student has to buy more vaseline, then.

Student does TA-ing and keeps requesting supervisor to make him a RA. Student likes some undergrad white chicks, but like plagiarism, this is something he must not try on. Mike, Steve and Brian haven't advanced more than Hi-s and Hello-s. To make matters worse, KFCs and Pizzas and beers have added to the weight. Late nights and that weight make the student look 20 years older and 10 times worse. However, Student has got wise. We must not forget that.

Student advises junior student back home not to come here. Junior Student thinks of that as blocking opportunities. Student tries to explain--"Life sucks here, man"

(FEMALE) Student looks better. Does some gymming so as to keep looking different than the married fattening bhabis. Student does not send money back home but never forgets to order some cakes and flowers for parent's anniversary. Orders online. Student misses home and friends of college.

Snow doesn't excite the student anymore. Student feels excitement only at conference calls, paper and abstract acceptances. Student does TA and doesn't mind it much.

In one year, Student gets wise and gets online-savvy. Student owns webcam, and uses it 70%. Hooks up with some desi guys back home as well as close by. Student likes some of them. Thinks of visiting some of them in the Thanksgiving break. Student thinks of buying a car. But thinks of the high insurance and backs off. Student invests more on clothes now.

In Diwali and Puja, Student dresses in ethnic wear and gets some pics taken. Sends them home. Posts some online. Some guys get attracted, and communication finally starts.

This inspires students to make some trips. Student visits some naturally beautiful places, takes pics and sends them back home.

Student tells fellow junior students back home: "If you need some info mail me. Life is a bit strange here, sometimes lonely, but you will get a lot of freedom.....all the best, yaar!"

COMMON stuff: Webcams, Loneliness, online activity. And the strange feeling that home wouldn't be better, back home. Student gets used to the fruit juice and starbucks coffee.

The above treatise is on Single Students. For Married Students, treatise is forthcoming.

Stay Put.