A Moving Story

In light of making a move yet again, I’ve come to realize a few things on my current city, which, for all obvious reasons, I do not like. Calgarians get offended when I list the reasons of not liking Calgary as a city; actually, that was an understatement… but let’s not get into the way of the main argument and move elsewhere. I’m here to list bits and parts of my moving story. And I’ll start with my pet peeve:

1. Calgarians love pets. So far, I’ve seen:

a) combinations of cats (2 or more cats, breed is usually not specified),

b) combination of dogs (breed proudly mentioned in most occasions),

c) combinations of cats and dogs living under one roof (which should teach us humans a thing or two about life/living)

d) combination of cats and snake

e) combinations of 2 cats and 2 reptiles (listed as caged, type not specified)

f) combinations of cats, dogs and fish

There’s nothing wrong in having a pet. Moreover, without ever failing, I ALWAYS mention how I mean no disrespect to pets or to their adorable and harmless ways and/or their owners. Nonetheless, I’m lectured upon the slightest humble wish of preferring to stay in a pet-free zone on how the pets are better than humans or have cute ways or are non-disturbing….to the extent that one should assume the pets are actually capable of understanding human expressions and speech and are just doing an animalistic gig ala Sridevi in Nagina. On the few occasions when I forget to ask this most important question, owing to tiredness of making endless calls, like Murphy’s instant karma, those homes would always have a pet. And you’d find it out when you’ve made the entire trip, complete with waiting for the wonderful Calgary public transit, in the awesome Calgary weather, and figuring out the address with printed/hand-drawn Calgary maps (hand-drawn as my printer refuses to print these days, in keeping with and being observant of my stressful times).

2. Calgarians differentiate based on ethnic background.

Or, should I say discriminate? This, of course is no surprise…..having lived in Calgary from 2005 and done my moving quite a bit. Landlords and roomies ask where you are from, and their tones, availability of the room change accordingly. If I were to say anything more on the topic, chances are I might do so backed by theoretical explanations (and thereby, reproduce parts of my own thesis) so I’ll simply refrain from it unless one is particularly willing to listen to the ethnic argument.

3. People list distances as “only 10 blocks to blah”, assuming Calgary is a walkable city; I mean, assuming Calgary has a walk-worthy weather to make those 10 blocks to anywhere. In the same vein, landlords proudly list their property as “10 minutes to C train station” or “15 minutes walk to U of C”, in a city that rarely sees summer.

4. The pricing of rent is directly proportional to size of the bedroom but has spurious relationship with the number of people you’re sharing the living area/house/apartment with.

5. Rental listings usually come with the facility of a kitchen (I’ve seen listing without a kitchen, so one shouldn’t roll their eyes on why I’m stating the “obvious”) but one is not presupposed to cook more often. “More often” entails more than once a week, and “cooking” usually means boiling, brewing or at the most… baking stuff.

It’s considered bad omen to say “never” by colloquial superstition. While I’ve started to religiously believe in “never say never again”, sometimes I can’t help but chuckle at the unique nature of the city, as it is discovered/re-discovered in our layered ways to get by. Of course, the chuckle comes much later, once the feeling of exasperation has bitten the dust and most certainly as I enjoy my smoke and look at the Ursa Major in fortunate cloudless nights in Calgary.

To be continued…